Little boy, step away from the Homicidal Huggie Bear.
He is not your friend, and he is certainly not Buzz Lightyear’s friend. Considering he tried to incinerate him in a fiery pit of doom and despair…
Friends, please explain this to me. Why am I seeing so many young spawn lining up at the Disney Store to take this nut job home?
What’s with the happy, pink packaging? This is not a happy bear. This is a deeply troubled soul.
Let’s recap, folks. Lots-o’ Huggin Bear put on a fake smile to lure our beloved heroes of the Toy Story trilogy into a false sense of security, then locked them into torture chamber of abuse at the hands of tumultuous toddlers who throw, beat, slobber on, decapitate, and shove our favorite talking toys into places unmentionable.
When our fearless leader Buzz escapes the room to talk this over with the seemingly reasonable Lotso, he resets Buzz to factory mode – essentially killing him inside – and uses him as a weapon against his family of toys, whom he then imprisons.
When our heroes finally, through a set of elaborate and thoroughly entertaining hijinks, escape and make the majority of the evil toys see the error of their ways, Lotso gets thrown into the dumpster by Big Baby. Apparently creepy exorcist toys have morals, too.
Then, just when everything was looking on the Sunnyside (har har) for the Toy Story gang, Lotso seizes Woody by the ankle and drags him into the dumpster. His loyal gang follows him to the dump and, after hearing Lotso’s cries for help, Woody and Buzz risk their own safety to save Lotso’s life.
That’s right. Woody and Buzz save this mongrel’s life. He is indebted to them for eternity. And how does he repay them? By becoming a total turncoat. He had the earnest face. He owed them a life debt! You really thought he was going to save these toys. Some things are bigger than abandonment issues, right?
Nope. Totally chilling face change. He climbs off the conveyor belt of doom, and even though it would cause him no extra effort, decides not to rescue the toys that just saved his hairy pink butt. “Where’s your kid now, sheriff!?” he snarls as he sends the toys to their death.
Seriously. All he had to do was flip the switch. But, out of pure bitterness and envy for the love these toys feel for their kid, he decides to let them burn.
Gripping story. Gripping villain. But not the kind of character I’d want to tuck in with my kid at bedtime. He will not keep you safe, child.
And yet…they are. Little kids love this guy! I was in the Disney Store the other day and Lotso was flying off the shelves. Last time I was in Disney World I saw a queue at least half an hour long to meet and greet with Lotso. Just Lotso!
I mean, I kinda get it. He’s cute, he’s fluffy, he’s cuddly. Kids love to hug. But…have you seen the movie!? Parents, shouldn’t you be concerned with your child’s love for this demonic little psychopath?
Given the context of this movie, I find nothing creepier than this snow globe, which sold like hotcakes at the Disney store last year.
All the characters below their maniacal dictator, who is smiling and waving like everything is juuuuuust fine.
Keep in mind, I love villains. I love meet and greets with villains. I love villain merchandise. I have no problem with people idolizing Disney villains.
My problem with Lotso is he’s not being treated as a villain. He’s been given the same treatment of warmy gooey love that we give to Bullseye or Pluto. He’s not even a fun kind of evil, like Captain Hook. He’s just evil. It served the plot well, but please….
Keep him away from your kids. Do not hug him. Say no to serial killers! At least until they’re older. Then they can watch Dexter.