Oh, hey guys. Just wanted to drop by and say….

It is the time of new beginnings, reminiscing, and attempting to completely overhaul your personality and recreate yourself in a new and temporarily improved identity.

Because self esteem is for losers.

Here are the resolutions I have made on behalf of various factions of the Walt Disney Corporation.

The Princes of Disney - 

We will instill upon ourselves a 3 Date Rule…meaning we will wait at least 3 days before proposing.

Moms of Disney - 

We will die less.

Well…except for maybe her.

Villains of Disney -

We will stop revealing our plans before we actually win.

Princesses of Disney - 

We will stop randomly changing our appearances.

Seriously. This is not ok.

Fairies of Disney-

We will stop starting color wars.

Stupid Sidekicks of Disney-

We will not speak in annoying colloquial language.  We will not speak.

Unless we are being voiced by Josh Gad.

Dory-

I will stop being so- oh hi, I’m Dory!

PL Travers-

I will never again call a Disney cartoon silly.

No one throws shade on Uncle Walt.

Mary Poppins-

No resolution necessary.

My Resolution? 

I will never be too old.

 Happy 2014, everybody!

Stay childish.