Should Hermione Have Been Sorted into Ravenclaw instead of Gryffindor?

There’s a lot of speculation and downright head scratching over why Hermione (#bosswitch) wasn’t sorted into Ravenclaw. Hermione, who worships books and thinks every answer can be found in the school library. Hermione, who read all her school books before even getting on the Hogwarts Express (although, if you just found out magic was a real thing that you were capable of doing, you’d probably do the same thing). Hermione, whose literal worst fear was Professor McGonagall telling her she’d failed all her exams.

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I Watched Disney Channel’s Descendants So You Don’t Have to: Part 4

We now present the fourth and final installment of the epic re-telling of Disney’s Descendants.

I’m totally kidding. They’re of course making a sequel out of this mess.

And an animated cartoon.

I shit you not.

Looks like my career of making fun of this franchise will be long lived. Thank goodness it pays so well.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, catch up with Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3!

Quick Note: Apologies for the egregiously long gaps between Part 3 and Part 4. The regular health shenanigans held me up. I really appreciate all the positive feedback I’ve gotten on these posts! You’re all wonderful cinnamon rolls and I cherish you all.

On to the finale!

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I Watched Disney Channel’s Descendants So You Don’t Have to: Part 3

Things are about to get R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S!

Catch up with Part 1 and Part 2!

You know, thinking about it, the lyric “I’d trade my kingdom for just one kiss” is kinda terrifying considering it’s coming from a boy who is actually about to have an entire kingdom to trade. I don’t know why everyone is dancing along with this. Imagine if Barack Obama, right before his inauguration, spontaneously sang a song dedicated to Putin’s daughter with the lyric “I’d sell the nuclear codes for just one night with you, girl.”

I’m just saying, as a tax-payer, my dancing would be slightly less enthusiastic.

But no use looking in the past, onwards to Act Three!  Read More…

I Watched Disney Channel’s The Descendants So You Don’t Have To: Part 1

Welcome to Disney Channel’s The Descendants, the show where everything is poorly written fanfiction and the story doesn’t matter. That’s right, the story is like Disney’s Tinker Bell’s 17 straight-to-DVD sequels. They don’t really matter and no one pays attention to them anyway.

Onto the movie! For those who don’t know, The Descendants is a movie Disney Channel has been advertising for a while as a story where all the children of iconic Disney villains go to school with the children of Disney heroes.

Sounds ridiculous? Oh, just you wait Henry Higgins.  Read More…

Message to ABC: We Want Our Grandmothers’ Muppets

Guys. The Muppets are getting their own TV show!! Praise Henson!

But here’s the description the ABC executive gave for the TV show.

“The Muppets return to prime time with a contemporary, documentary-style show that—for the first time ever—will explore the Muppets’ personal lives and relationships, both at home and at work, as well as romances, break-ups, achievements, disappointments, wants and desires; a more adult Muppet show, for kids of all ages.”

ABC chief Paul Lee also added this nugget of a quote. This new TV show is “not your grandmother’s Muppets.”

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