Disney Controversially Turns LeFou Into a Stone Cold Murderer

As anyone who follows me on twitter — or listens when I shout incoherently out my window at night– knows, I am equal parts excited and apprehensive about the new live action remake of my favorite movie, Beauty and the Beast. On the one hand, Jungle Book. On the other hand, Maleficent. On the one hand, Ian McKellan as Cogsworth. On the other hand, Ewan McGregor as Lumiere. I could go on with this, but you’ve heard my window rants, so you know.

Basically this.

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Charities Your Favorite Disney Princesses Want You to Donate To

It’s the holiday season, and with the new year approaching, it’s a great time to think about how to give back. Not sure which cause is nearest to your heart? Let your favorite Disney princesses be your guide!

What follows is a list of charities I think the Disney princesses would support based on their values and experiences.

Note: All charities listed in this article have top ratings on CharityNavigator.org, unless otherwise noted. Read More…

Non Tone Deaf People Plea: Please Don’t Turn Moana into a Sing-A-Long

A representative of the Society for People Who Can Actually Hear the Notes You Sing released a statement today publicly pleading tone-deaf singers to not try and sing the songs from the new Disney hit Moana outside of their shower.

“Look,” the spokesman, Sandy Plankton, said, “We know the music is great. You love it. We love it. It’s Lin Freaking Manuel Miranda. But we just got our hearing back from all those ‘Let it Go’ covers, and trust us, ‘How Far I’ll Go’ is even harder to sing.” Read More…

BREAKING! ABC’s Blackish Season Premiere Reveals Newest Disney World Technology: Transporting Portals

Disney, who recently invested a billion dollars in their new Magic Band technology, has just announced their newest technological project: Magic Portals.

That’s right, Magic Portals. As in gateways that take you from one park to another, in the blink of an eye, simply by walking through them. We saw the precursor to this technology at Enchanted Tales with Belle, where the Beast’s magic mirror takes guests from Belle’s Cottage to the Beast’s castle. It was previously assumed these rooms were connected, but now we know this was a discreet test run of an undisclosed, patented scientific breakthrough (possibly with the aid of fairy dust, maybe even some mid-chlorines), that allows Imagineers to teleport guests in between parks that are miles apart in only a matter of seconds.

The technology is subtly and brilliantly revealed in the season premiere of Blackish, the ABC sitcom created by Kenya Barris, which took place in Disney World, because, you know, corporate synergy.

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Histrionic Listicle Thoughts of a Fangirl While Reading Harry Potter and the Cursed Child: Part 1 Act 2

Do NOT read if you have not finished all of Part 1 (Acts 1 and 2) of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, or there will be a total collapse in the space time continuum!

spoilers

Catch up with my Act 1 histrionics first!

Have I given enough instructions? Do I have anyone left reading? Eh. I’ve spent the majority of my life talking dramatically at people who aren’t listening, I’m not about to stop now.

shall we begin

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Histrionic Listicle Thoughts of a Fangirl While Reading Harry Potter and the Cursed Child: Act 1

*howler Mrs. Weasley voice*

SPOILERS FOR CURSED CHILD. MASSIVE RUIN-THE-STORY-FOR-YOUR-INNER-11-YEAR-OLD-WHO-WAITED-AT-BORDERS-AT-MIDNIGHT-FOR-THE-NEXT-HARRY-POTTER-BOOK SPOILERS. 

*kindly Mrs. Weasley voice*

But please, do read on for my snarky reactions after you’ve finished. This post only covers Part 1 Act 1, so you’re safe as long as you’ve read that far.

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Disney Sorting Hat: Queens Edition

Welcome back to the Disney Sorting Hat!

Today we’re sorting Disney Queens, and I’m only doing Disney Queens that have enough of a presence in the film to judge a personality on. Rule of thumb, if they don’t get a line, they don’t get a house.

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Disney’s Cinderella: The Modern Angel in the House

disney cinderella

http://moonchildinthesky.deviantart.com/

I’ve tried to write a post explaining why I hate Disney’s Cinderella several times. I haven’t yet written it successfully, at least in my view. I’ve long had a hatred for this movie I couldn’t quite put into words (specifically the Disney animated version, I do love other adaptations), and I thought I’d take another whack at explaining my beef.

I think to properly explain it, I have to get a little personal.

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