I Watched Disney Channel’s Descendants So You Don’t Have to: Part 3

Things are about to get R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S!

Catch up with Part 1 and Part 2!

You know, thinking about it, the lyric “I’d trade my kingdom for just one kiss” is kinda terrifying considering it’s coming from a boy who is actually about to have an entire kingdom to trade. I don’t know why everyone is dancing along with this. Imagine if Barack Obama, right before his inauguration, spontaneously sang a song dedicated to Putin’s daughter with the lyric “I’d sell the nuclear codes for just one night with you, girl.”

I’m just saying, as a tax-payer, my dancing would be slightly less enthusiastic.

But no use looking in the past, onwards to Act Three!  Read More…

I Watched Disney Channel’s The Descendants So You Don’t Have To: Part 1

Welcome to Disney Channel’s The Descendants, the show where everything is poorly written fanfiction and the story doesn’t matter. That’s right, the story is like Disney’s Tinker Bell’s 17 straight-to-DVD sequels. They don’t really matter and no one pays attention to them anyway.

Onto the movie! For those who don’t know, The Descendants is a movie Disney Channel has been advertising for a while as a story where all the children of iconic Disney villains go to school with the children of Disney heroes.

Sounds ridiculous? Oh, just you wait Henry Higgins.  Read More…

Message to ABC: We Want Our Grandmothers’ Muppets

Guys. The Muppets are getting their own TV show!! Praise Henson!

But here’s the description the ABC executive gave for the TV show.

“The Muppets return to prime time with a contemporary, documentary-style show that—for the first time ever—will explore the Muppets’ personal lives and relationships, both at home and at work, as well as romances, break-ups, achievements, disappointments, wants and desires; a more adult Muppet show, for kids of all ages.”

ABC chief Paul Lee also added this nugget of a quote. This new TV show is “not your grandmother’s Muppets.”

Read More…

Top 5 Underrated Disney Movies

There are a lot of Disney movies, especially in recent past, that, though they’re wonderful movies, get a lot more hype than they really deserve.

Then there are these movies. Stellar little gems that are unfortunately overlooked and under-appreciated. I don’t just like these movies — I am passionately obsessed and if you disagree with any on this list, I will meet you with pistols at dawn.

Or balloon swords. Yeah, balloon swords are better.

Read More…

The Only Acceptable Plot Lines for Frozen 2

We all knew this was coming, guys. But I don’t know if any of us were quite prepared.

And I think this pretty much summarizes the Disnerd reaction:

Screen Shot 2015-03-12 at 6.23.12 PM

Yeah, Disney is returning to the sequel game. And, although they’ve regained my trust in a lot of ways, they have not yet earned back the sequels rights. So, the following are the only acceptable plots that would make me actively look forward to Frozen 2: The Quest for More Merchandise. Read More…

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