It always happens when you’re not looking for it. You’re going about your day, working, running errands, organizing your collection of Disney vinylmation figurines, and it’s nowhere on your mind. And then, out of nowhere, you see the thing you didn’t know you were looking for.

The new teaser trailer for Frozen 2, that is. The one that Disney just dropped on us like a ton of newly minted Elsa-in-a-pantsuit dolls. This wasn’t some expected Comic-Con or Super Bowl trailer shit. This was a fucking Wednesday. Day before Valentine’s Day. Popped outta the snow like mother fucking daisies.

(X)

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The new live action remake of the classic 1991 animated Beauty and the Beast came out last weekend, and it tried to pour some asphalt into the plot holes Disnerds have been cheekily pointing out for years (not me, of course, but like, okay yeah me). Unfortunately, in the process, it opened more cracks in the plot pavement than a Philadelphia winter.

(Spoilers ahead!)

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As anyone who follows me on twitter — or listens when I shout incoherently out my window at night– knows, I am equal parts excited and apprehensive about the new live action remake of my favorite movie, Beauty and the Beast. On the one hand, Jungle Book. On the other hand, Maleficent. On the one hand, Ian McKellan as Cogsworth. On the other hand, Ewan McGregor as Lumiere. I could go on with this, but you’ve heard my window rants, so you know.

Basically this.

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A representative of the Society for People Who Can Actually Hear the Notes You Sing released a statement today publicly pleading tone-deaf singers to not try and sing the songs from the new Disney hit Moana outside of their shower.

“Look,” the spokesman, Sandy Plankton, said, “We know the music is great. You love it. We love it. It’s Lin Freaking Manuel Miranda. But we just got our hearing back from all those ‘Let it Go’ covers, and trust us, ‘How Far I’ll Go’ is even harder to sing.” Read More…

Guys.

Alan Tudyk is just trolling us all.

I talked before about the inhuman voice talent that is Alan Tudyk. He’s the John Ratzenberger of the new Disney era of animated films. Except, instead of having a distinct, recognizable voice, you can never tell it’s him.

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http://moonchildinthesky.deviantart.com/

I’ve tried to write a post explaining why I hate Disney’s Cinderella several times. I haven’t yet written it successfully, at least in my view. I’ve long had a hatred for this movie I couldn’t quite put into words (specifically the Disney animated version, I do love other adaptations), and I thought I’d take another whack at explaining my beef.

I think to properly explain it, I have to get a little personal.

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I’m a millennial. I love Disney. I love Harry Potter. Therefore I have no choice but to sort all the Disney characters into their appropriate Hogwarts Houses. It’s compulsory behavior in order to maintain my Nerd Card.

Note: I’m gonna be doing a series of these, and we’re starting with the princesses. I’m going with only the characters who are heavily implied to be of some sort of royal stature by the end of their movie. Non royal heroines will be another category for another day.

Just a reminder of the basic canon traits of each house:

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