Movies

I Didn’t Want Frozen 2 Until the Trailer Came Out and Now It’s All I Want

It always happens when you’re not looking for it. You’re going about your day, working, running errands, organizing your collection of Disney vinylmation figurines, and it’s nowhere on your mind. And then, out of nowhere, you see the thing you didn’t know you were looking for.

The new teaser trailer for Frozen 2, that is. The one that Disney just dropped on us like a ton of newly minted Elsa-in-a-pantsuit dolls. This wasn’t some expected Comic-Con or Super Bowl trailer shit. This was a fucking Wednesday. Day before Valentine’s Day. Popped outta the snow like mother fucking daisies.

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Disney World Should Replace Rivers of Light with a Moana Water Musical Spectacular

Look, I’m just gonna say the thing we all know.

Rivers of Light is boring.

In case you don’t know, because you spend time outside and not on Disney Park’s YouTube page, Rivers of Light is the new nighttime show in Disney’s Animal Kingdom park. Disney spent a shit ton of time, resources, and sweet sweet Olaf plush doll money to get this show up and running about a year after they said they would.

And it’s neat. For like, a minute. And then it’s boring.

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Disney Controversially Turns LeFou Into a Stone Cold Murderer

As anyone who follows me on twitter — or listens when I shout incoherently out my window at night– knows, I am equal parts excited and apprehensive about the new live action remake of my favorite movie, Beauty and the Beast. On the one hand, Jungle Book. On the other hand, Maleficent. On the one hand, Ian McKellan as Cogsworth. On the other hand, Ewan McGregor as Lumiere. I could go on with this, but you’ve heard my window rants, so you know.

Basically this.

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Charities Your Favorite Disney Princesses Want You to Donate To

It’s the holiday season, and with the new year approaching, it’s a great time to think about how to give back. Not sure which cause is nearest to your heart? Let your favorite Disney princesses be your guide!

What follows is a list of charities I think the Disney princesses would support based on their values and experiences.

Note: All charities listed in this article have top ratings on CharityNavigator.org, unless otherwise noted. Read More…

Non Tone Deaf People Plea: Please Don’t Turn Moana into a Sing-A-Long

A representative of the Society for People Who Can Actually Hear the Notes You Sing released a statement today publicly pleading tone-deaf singers to not try and sing the songs from the new Disney hit Moana outside of their shower.

“Look,” the spokesman, Sandy Plankton, said, “We know the music is great. You love it. We love it. It’s Lin Freaking Manuel Miranda. But we just got our hearing back from all those ‘Let it Go’ covers, and trust us, ‘How Far I’ll Go’ is even harder to sing.” Read More…

Disney Sorting Hat: Queens Edition

Welcome back to the Disney Sorting Hat!

Today we’re sorting Disney Queens, and I’m only doing Disney Queens that have enough of a presence in the film to judge a personality on. Rule of thumb, if they don’t get a line, they don’t get a house.

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Disney’s Cinderella: The Modern Angel in the House

disney cinderella

http://moonchildinthesky.deviantart.com/

I’ve tried to write a post explaining why I hate Disney’s Cinderella several times. I haven’t yet written it successfully, at least in my view. I’ve long had a hatred for this movie I couldn’t quite put into words (specifically the Disney animated version, I do love other adaptations), and I thought I’d take another whack at explaining my beef.

I think to properly explain it, I have to get a little personal.

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The Disney Sorting Hat: Princess Edition

I’m a millennial. I love Disney. I love Harry Potter. Therefore I have no choice but to sort all the Disney characters into their appropriate Hogwarts Houses. It’s compulsory behavior in order to maintain my Nerd Card.

Note: I’m gonna be doing a series of these, and we’re starting with the princesses. I’m going with only the characters who are heavily implied to be of some sort of royal stature by the end of their movie. Non royal heroines will be another category for another day.

Just a reminder of the basic canon traits of each house:


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