There’s a lot of buzz recently about, who else, Mr. Donald J Trump.
Hey, they both have a “J” in their names…just sayin…
His recent disturbingly moustache-twirling-level-of-evil Islamaphobic comments have inspired a lot of comparisons to this generation’s iconic, albeit moustache-less villain, Lord J Voldemort. In fact, as Cafe.com pointed out, putting his dialogue on top of Voldemort’s movie scenes looks shockingly natural.
This post prompted a friend and I to discuss possible Trump/Voldemort puns, but unfortunately all I could come up with was He-Who-Must-Name-Everything-After-Himself.
Fun, but a little too long to the punchline.
But then JK Rowling let out this glorious tweet.
How horrible. Voldemort was nowhere near as bad. https://t.co/hFO0XmOpPH
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) December 8, 2015
And well, as usual, Queen Rowling has a point. At least Voldemort was openly on the side of evil. If you were his supporter, you knew you were literally on the Dark Side. You even had a snake tattoo on your arm. If that doesn’t say evil, I don’t know what does.
So that begs the question. Who is worse than Voldemort? Well. I think anyone who read the complete Harry Potter series (and if you somehow haven’t read them go do so immediately your life is not complete) can tell you there was another character they hated more. A fictional figturd who was actually the human embodiment of continuous nails on a chalkboard while having a root canal with menstrual cramps. You guessed it…
If there was one character in the entire fictional world I could bring to life just so I could punch them in the face, it would be Dolores Umbridge.
She is the most irritating, sadistic, sanctimonious see-you-next-tuesday ever to grace our imaginations. What makes her worse than Voldemort is that she believes, and convinces others in powerful positions, that she’s on the side of good. And by corrupting and misinforming the vulnerable youth, she can debatably do more damage than Voldemort can.
One tumblr user put it as “Voldemort is the villain we hope to never face. Umbridge is the villain we face every day.”
So, if Voldemort isn’t as bad as Trump, and Umbridge is worse than Voldemort….then by transitive property…that’s right:
Trumpbridge.
Now let’s send him the same way we sent Dolores.
Anyone got some centaurs handy?
#SendInTheCentaurs
Oh, and to Trump and all the other people who want to deny an entire religion of people access to our country because of misinformed bigotry?
Have a magical day.
