Disney March Madness: Final Four

Four left. Two villains. Two heroes. Each competing to represent their league and win the glory of the name champion. It’s been a tough fight so far. Let’s look at our bracket. bracket final four

Hercules. Stitch. Jafar. Maleficent.

It’s gonna get ugly. Let’s begin!

Hercules vs Stitch

He’s defeated Merida and Mulan, but can he go the distance? Let’s welcome Hercules!

And beating those beasts of the Sahara, Rafiki and (lord, I cry) Mufasa, put your claws together for Stitch!

Despite being an adorable lost duckling, Stitch is one crazy mo fo when he gets into the fighting arena. Besides his super strength, he’s also super clever. Remember when he escaped his imprisonment on his planet by tricking the lasers using his saliva? But killing crazy monsters is what Hercules does! If he can take down the Hydra, who constantly spawns multiple heads every time you try to kill it, then Stitch shouldn’t be too difficult. True, Hercules isn’t as bright as Stitch (as evidenced by the fact that he kept cutting the heads off of the Hydra), but that also means he doesn’t have as much self preservation as Stitch does. Stitch spent most of his movie trying to save his own hide, and that can cost you in the ring. You have to be willing to take a few blows. Hercules, on the other hand, is clearly willing to use a full speed head butt against his opponent. Stick to your hula lessons, Stitch, Hercules is our Champion Hero.

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Now we move to our friends on the other side, my favorite, the villains.

Maleficent vs Jafar

She’s defeated the Lord of the Underworld and a sadistic french judge, scream in terror for the Mistress of All Evil herself, Maleficent.

He vanquished the slippery little pink cat and the Queen with a heart fetish, recoil in horror for the sorcerer/genie Jafar!

This would be the most creative fight to watch. These two can conjure or transform basically anything to get what they want. Interestingly, these two actually have similar final showdowns in their respective movies. While transformed into a formidable beast the hero fights them armed only with a sword and a magical sidekick(s). Once again, though, Jafar is bound by the Genie Code. He can’t kill anyone. Maleficent doesn’t have to abide by such silly rules. Although, she might be tempted to devise some elaborate revenge scheme that would take sixteen years to play out, she would ultimately realize the reality of the situation and head straight for the jugular. Possibly in the form of a cyclops. Or just her old standby dragon form. Whatever she chose, Jafar would be a burnt little genie. So long, ex-sorcerer Jafar. Maleficent is the Champion of Villains!

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We have our champions, ladies and gentlemen. Stay tuned for the next round, when we will have our final showdown. Hero versus Villain. Good versus Evil. Which side will prevail? Who will go hobbling back to their character meet-and-greet in utter disgrace? Join us on Monday and find out.

Until then, have a magical day!