Oh, hey guys. Just wanted to drop by and say….
It is the time of new beginnings, reminiscing, and attempting to completely overhaul your personality and recreate yourself in a new and temporarily improved identity.
Because self esteem is for losers.
Here are the resolutions I have made on behalf of various factions of the Walt Disney Corporation.
The Princes of Disney –
We will instill upon ourselves a 3 Date Rule…meaning we will wait at least 3 days before proposing.
Moms of Disney –
We will die less.
Well…except for maybe her.
Villains of Disney –
We will stop revealing our plans before we actually win.
Princesses of Disney –
We will stop randomly changing our appearances.
Seriously. This is not ok.
Fairies of Disney-
We will stop starting color wars.
Stupid Sidekicks of Disney-
We will not speak in annoying colloquial language. We will not speak.
Unless we are being voiced by Josh Gad.
I will stop being so- oh hi, I’m Dory!
I will never again call a Disney cartoon silly.
No one throws shade on Uncle Walt.
No resolution necessary.
I will never be too old.
Happy 2015, everybody!