Resolutions for a New Year: Brought to You by the Disney Corporation

Oh, hey guys. Just wanted to drop by and say….

It is the time of new beginnings, reminiscing, and attempting to completely overhaul your personality and recreate yourself in a new and temporarily improved identity.

Because self esteem is for losers.

Here are the resolutions I have made on behalf of various factions of the Walt Disney Corporation.

The Princes of Disney – 

We will instill upon ourselves a 3 Date Rule…meaning we will wait at least 3 days before proposing.

elsa no

Moms of Disney – 

We will die less.

Well…except for maybe her.

Villains of Disney –

We will stop revealing our plans before we actually win.

Princesses of Disney – 

We will stop randomly changing our appearances.

Seriously. This is not ok.

Fairies of Disney-

We will stop starting color wars.

Stupid Sidekicks of Disney-

We will not speak in annoying colloquial language.  We will not speak.

Unless we are being voiced by Josh Gad.


I will stop being so- oh hi, I’m Dory!

PL Travers-

I will never again call a Disney cartoon silly.

No one throws shade on Uncle Walt.

Mary Poppins-

No resolution necessary.

My Resolution? 

mwo banner

I will never be too old.

leah hugs gargoyle

 Happy 2015, everybody!

Stay childish.