The Scariest of the Disney Parks

Happy Halloween! Have an adorable picture of one my favorite Disney families!

Now for something scary.

Really scary.

A whole list of scary! The scariest of the Disney Parks!

I’m not talking Rod Serling or 999 Happy Haunts. I mean the real horrifying parts of the Happiest Places on Earth. Let’s count them down, shall we? In no particular order…

1. The Food at the Sci Fi Drive-In

There’s a reason this restaurant is dark, and it’s not because of the movie reels. Mere mortals dare not look upon the culinary concoction the warlocks in their cookhouses have decided to call “food.” If the slimey ooze and spattering alien bits on the giant movie screen don’t make you lose your appetite, this probably will.

Is that a pickle? Kinda looks like a newt. Where are its eyes? In the bowl?

Moving on.

2. It’s a Small World

I have already attempted to warn you of the dangers of this ride.  Those dark, soulless eyes, beckoning you to join them in their song…read the article and stay far, far away from that demonic, smiling clock.

3. How Bad Stitch’s Great Escape Is

Something this horrendous on Disney soil can only be the work of dark magic. It chills me to the core.

Seriously. I’m strapped in an inexplicably uncomfortable chair while an incorporeal alien burps hot dogs in my face. Are we having fun yet?

4. The Love for Lotso Huggin’ Bear

What spell are these poor children under? Kids, he’s evil! DO NOT HUG HIM.

Read that full rant here. 

5. The Lines for Toy Story Mania

Poor souls have wandered into this cavern and disappeared for days or weeks at a time…often with mysteriously sore arms.

Okay, the queue is super cool.

But it never ends. Ever. I think I went through puberty again in this line.

Oh, and good luck getting a FastPass. They’ll are all gone by noon! Mwahahaha!

And finally…

6. The Last Scene from Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride

Wait, am I in Hell!? Did you just kill me, Disney? And the ride’s just over now? You can’t put me into the gift shop after something like that, I’m pretty sure I just saw the Devil!

Happy Halloween!