Dirty Disney: Fantasia Edition

What time is it!?

It’s Dirty Disney Time! 

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This week’s edition features some of the most blatant, indisputable sexual imagery I’ve seen in any Disney movie.

It’s marvelous. I’m actually pretty surprised they got away with most of this stuff.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am delighted to present to you all of the dirty segments from one of Disney’s most cinematically impressive movies…

Fantasia.

Walt’s pet project wasn’t all sorcerer’s hats and dancing hippos. Things got dark.

And they got…dirty.

How dirty? Well, the answer to that is threefold:

1. Boobies

That’s right, boobies. Houston, we have nipples. Janet Jackson’s got nothing on these harpies — no, they’re actual harpies. Don’t believe Disney would have the balls to remove their precariously placed sea shells or garlands of flowers? Have a screen shot!

Mommy, what are those things?

Yup, that’s from the Night on Bald Mountain segment. Y’know, where they scare the crap out of little kids by having the devil himself summon his minions to bring down fire and havoc on the earth. Sweet dreams, little Johnny! We’re gonna have all kinds of explanatory talks because of this movie, aren’t we?

Oh yes. Because our next serving of bizarre Disnic sexuality is brought to you by….

2. A Centaur Mating Ritual 

This doesn’t even count as innuendo, because there is actually no other way to describes this segment of the film. These are animal-type things in springtime going through the steps of a pastoral mating ritual. Naked flying babies escort brawny, half naked horse men to join their freshly pampered, curvy, half naked horse ladies.

More boobies! …But where at the nipples?

First they split up into matching pairs.

They flirt a bit,

and then go off to find someplace a ‘bit more private.’

while the naked cupid babies watch with voyeuristic delight.

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That’s kind of creepy.

One of these pervy babies even shuts the curtain on one of the couples to give them privacy (bow chica wow), and then poked his head — and I mean the one above his shoulders — right back in there to watch!

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That’s right! This movie has horse sex and infant Peeping Toms! Walt, what was going on that week?

But it’s okay, they make it cute! Because they turn Cupid Baby’s naked butt into a heart.

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No, seriously. They turn a butt into a heart. Well, that’s a little strange but…okay then.

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And then everybody gets drunk!


[Big Bro’s Note: I think they have this order of events backward.]

Funny thing is, Walt was afraid this movie would seem too high brow for his audience.

Moving on from the shockingly overt to the slightly more subdued…

3). The Flowers

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This whole flower sequence always had a vaguely Georgia O’Keefe feeling to me, but I thought that was just because my foul mind rightfully belongs in the body of a twelve year old boy. Surely Disney wouldn’t sexualize a flower…would they?

“The audience will rave if you can make them feel Sex in a flower.” — Walt Disney

That’s an actual quote, folks. According to Neal Gabler’s biography, Walt Disney: The Triumph of Imagination, Walt wanted us to get freaky with the fauna.

When you wish upon a star…

Update: There’s also this…

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make animated gifs like this at MakeAGif

That fish is definitely coming on to me. Nothing you can say will convince me otherwise.

This strangely seductive swimmer blinks those big bedroom eyes at you while sultry music plays for a solid minute. It’s basically an ichthyological lap dance.

There you have it, the erotica of Fantasia. On the Salacious Scale, I give Fantasia an:

Give it a watch and see for yourself. See you on our next installment of Dirty Disney!