Okay, so I’m running out of synonyms for “wonderful” and “magical.” So instead of breaking out the thesaurus, I’ve decided to switch to complaint mode. Seems reasonable.
After all, Disney isn’t perfect. They certainly have their pitfalls. And no one is better at complaining than me. So I’ve decided to create a handy man list for Disney Imagineering of rides that need to be refurbished. I’ll give it to them when we have lunch next Tuesday.
To be clear, these aren’t rides that I want demolished. That’s another post for another time. These are rides that I love and enjoy but are in need of a little makeover. Or a big makeover. Depends.
Let us begin!
5. Great Movie Ride
I love this ride. It’s quaint, it’s adorable, it’s fun! Plus, I’m a movie buff. So I love being able to travel through the classic movies. But it has gotten a little worn. Can we update the movies a bit? Throw some new ‘classics’ in?
I don’t know if this is even possible, but it would be super cool if they had multiple tracks you could possibly go through where each one has different movie scenes.
Although, I hesitate because I know if Disney did update this ride it would be synergy-tastic with the lastest Disney films and not much else. I really can’t handle more Jack Sparrow.
4. Spaceship Earth
I know, this one was just refurbished. And I liked some of the updates! The new garage scene is way cool and I enjoy the 70’s giant computer room. I do really dislike the new tone they took with the ride, though. I’ve stated before, it sounds like a kindergarten classroom instead of an epic journey.
Which brings me to why I think it needs a refurb: the ending.
I get that they’re afraid of the rapid-speed evolution of technology constantly outdating them. After all, the reason they had to change the first ending was because the “amazing futuristic technology” is now known as Skype. Not so awe inspiring anymore. So they created a dinky little cartoon that predicts a Meet-the-Jeffersonsian future that they can easily update if necessary. Safe, but dull and anticlimactic.
What I remember most about the old version wasn’t the promise of a more technologically advanced future, but the celebration of a closely interconnected present. Remember how this ride is supposed to be “grand and miraculous”? A simple re-tooling could make it that way again.
Make it happen, cap’n.
3. Expedition Everest
Hey guys? Fix the yeti. It’s gotten embarrassing.
2. Carousel of Progress
Oh, this ride. It hits all the warm squishy parts. The charm, the dog, the song! This was Walt’s baby! It premiered at the World’s Fair! But it’s not faring (har har) so well these days. Last time I saw this attraction it was a-creaking and a-squeaking. Mouths didn’t move properly. Gears made loud noises.
It needs some TLC.
Plus, the last “futuristic” scene could use an update. I understand this one has the same problem as Spaceship Earth: by the time they finish building it might be outdated already. So don’t make it a tableau of the future! Make it a tableau of 2013. It’s just the next installment of the series. Doesn’t need to be prophetic. This is how far we’ve come, yay! Who knows what the next years will bring? There’s a great big beautiful tomorrow…
And the number one attraction in need of a refurb is…
1. Journey into Imagination with Figment
Bring back the Dreamfinder!!!!!!
That is all.
What ride do you want to see updated?