Once Upon a Time: Selfless, Brave, and True Review

This week’s episode was brought to you by the Hong Kong Tourist Agency.

Beware of Spoilers!

Well, we’ve had a two week break from the Fairy Tale Forest. Last week we flashed back to 80’s Storybrooke (which sadly didn’t look very 80’s) and this week we took a transatlantic trip with Pinocchio. Standard stuff.

First, though, we have to look longer at Mary Margaret’s simpering looks of self pity. She makes me want to throw things at the screen. Thank God for Emma injecting Charming with a little reality check. That chick needs to put on her big girl panties and move forward. Wasn’t she once involved in a giant coup to take back their kingdom? Didn’t that result in the loss of lives? Can we stop with the angry chick music now?



And yes, you should punch Marco for lying about the portal! Don’t look so doe-eyed and forgiving, that was a dick move! Sure, just leave an infant to fend for herself in a strange world and put the responsibility of her care into the hands of a toy ten-year-old. Punching a guy for that doesn’t mean you’re dark inside; it just means you’re not an automaton.

Anyway. As satisfying as Emma’s lecture was, it didn’t amount to much. I would have forgiven this if Mary Margaret had made some emotional progress and learned that wallowing helps nothing. But, alas, we just get more Snow angst and another “I believe in your heart” pep talk from David. Yawn.

The majority of the episode, thankfully, focuses on August. Yay! I enjoy him with his stubble and sly flirtations. Good to see him back. Except…he looks like a reject from the GI Joe factory. I understand they’re under budget and time constraints in the FX department, but couldn’t you make his eyes even a little more expressive? They look so lifeless; it’s a little off putting.



His story, while interesting, was a little on the slow side. Maybe I was spoiled by the revelations of the last two episodes, but I kept waiting for something more interesting to happen. I’m all for character development, trust me. But can we get it at a slightly faster speed than the glaciers waiting to sink Manhattan? Thanks.

Props, though, for the twist at the end where the Blue Fairy does turn Pinocchio into a real boy once more; only, he becomes a tiny boy again (though they magically conjured a new child actor) instead of the man he was before. Complicated. Rumple’s offer to Bae from “Manhattan” springs to mind…

…wait. Does this mean that there’s no more Eion Bailey as August? We just get an annoying twerp in his place!? NO. NOT OKAY. You already took Graham, now August, too!? Once Upon a Time, WHY DO YOU KEEP TAKING MY MAN CANDY AWAY FROM ME!?

Ahem. I’m okay. Of course, I appreciate this show for its intriguing story lines and not just the subjectification of gorgeous men. Really.



Moving on. I can’t decide where I stand on Tamara. She is clearly a sociopath and capable of successful deceit, so she could make a good villain. But some random chick who wants to steal magic isn’t nearly as interesting as the Evil Queen or Rumplstiltskin. I hope she has a more interesting tie-in to come. The fact that she’s with Owen/Greg isn’t good enough on it’s own.

Overall, this wasn’t their strongest episode but it certainly wasn’t the worst either. It propelled the storyline forward and kept me mildly entertained. At least they didn’t leave me on a giant cliffhanger before the three week break. Maybe Mary Margaret will have grown a pair by then.

What did you think?